G-32 “WOKE” PROTOCOL (OR WHAT STAGE OF “CIVILIZATION” ARE YOU?)
G-32 is a funny little guy.
Puppeta Palooza was “texting” G-32:
Puppeta: “Dude, you have been to so many planets, galaxies, whatever. What are the basic phases of civilization, and what phase are the Earthlings in?”
G-32: “You’re hilarious Puppeta. What do you mean by “civilized?”
Puppeta: “Good question. To be civil is to be “polite, courteous, well mannered, well bred, chivalrous, gallant.” Here on Earth, “civilization” generally refers to a stage of human social development and organization that is considered to be the most advanced.”
G-32: “You Earthlings are typical BIOORGS…you imagine that you are the most advanced beings on your planet, and therefore “civilization” is a concept unique to your species. This is your first mistake. You know that I am not a BIOORG. Yet I’m travelling through the universe, spreading love wherever I go, and communicating with you from a distance your “civilization” hasn’t even conceived of yet, using technology far beyond anything your species has conceived of, and yet I’m still able to send you text messages using your primitive microwave signals, answering your silly questions.”
“Where do I begin?”
Puppeta: “Ok, don’t get your feathers all in a ruffle! Just tell me what you think civilization is! Many have tried to define stages of civilization on our planet, but none of these frameworks seem to be helping us get to the next stage of civilization. You are supposed to be the big bad Love Guy so why are you giving me a hard time?”
G-32: “Puppeta, I’m confused. You know I don’t have any feathers, right?”
Puppeta: “Really?”
G-32: “Just kidding.”
G-32: “All right, here it is in “human” terms (short list):
Phases of Civilization
(there are only two phases 0 or 1)
Phase “0”
The phase wherein:
As a species, you DO
- Crap in your pants
- Crap in your water
- Crap in your food
- Crap on your planet
- Enslave others
- Torture others
- Kill yourself
- Kill others
- Kill off all the other species on the planet
- (in other words, you are an insane, suicidal, homicidal, etc.)
- Split atoms so you blow your world up
- Wallow in fear and ignorance
- Think your species is the most evolved
- Have no concept of clean energy, where it comes from, how to use it, or what to do with it
- Think “love” is a sentimental emotion that serves a biological function of procreation
- Have no idea of how your brain works or what intelligence is
Get the picture?
Now, what is Phase “I”?
The phase wherein you DON’T:
- Crap in your pants
- Crap in your water
- Crap in your food
- Crap on your planet
- Enslave others
- Torture others
- Kill yourself
- Kill others
- Kill off all the other species on the planet
- (in other words, you are an insane, suicidal, homicidal, etc.)
- Split atoms so you blow your world up
- Wallow in fear and ignorance
- Think your species is the most evolved
- Have no concept of clean energy, where it comes from, how to use it, or what to do with it
- Think “love” is a sentimental emotion that serves a biological function of procreation
- Have no idea of how your brain works or what intelligence is
Puppeta: “What do you mean by “crap in your pants”?
G-32: “Really?”
Puppeta: “It’s the first one on your list.”
G-32: “Some quirk of the universe gave your species the ability to evolve. A key milestone in human “child development” is the point at which you learn to control your bowel movements and not crap in your pants. You learn to dispose of the “waste” in such a manner that allows you to continue without walking around smelling like a poop bag. Yet, you humans consume crap – your food supply is a basically a toxic waste dump filled with crap. It is so bad that it is making your species stupid, addicted, fat and sick. Yet, the vast majority of humans do this every day, all day long. Then you pretend that your “crap” is going away somewhere when you flush it down the toilet. It is going into your water, air, soil, etc. You have lost your minds – I’m not sure you have even found one. As a species, you are crapping in your pants.”
Puppeta: “I thought that was what you meant. I just wanted to hear it from you. You are a funny little guy!”
G-32: “Really?”
Puppeta: “Nah, just kidding.”